Always do right. This will gratify some people and astonish the rest.

— Mark Twain

ASININE

The word I used the other day to describe an incredibly idiotic comment that was said..

"The Myans abused the power of the toilet and it was taken away.."

..There are no words other than...

OFFICER DOWN...

"All gave some...Some gave all"

For the 4 officers who's lives were taken in Washington..

Sgt. Mark Renninger, 39;
Ronald Owens, 37;
Tina Griswold, 40;
Greg Richards 42

IN THE YEAR 3000...

Yes I've seen the future...

Apparently the future will be all about ridiculous uniforms and canned foods...borrring..
Lets just put Mel Gibson inside Thunderdome again. Maybe we can get Tina's gams in their too..

TRIAGLE HAZARD

I hate tripping on triagles...

OUCH

Boxer, Miguel Cotto

EXTREMELY EXTREME

 I typed "extreme" into google images..these were the results...

I dug this next one for obvious reasons...the title was "extreme thongitude"...genius.

BOOOOOOMSHAKALAKA!!

ALL HALLOWED'S EVE

In the spirit of Halloween this month...Some interesting pumpkin carvings..

THANKFULLY

TOP 5 THINGS..TO BE THANKFUL FOR:

5. Computers

4. The 80s

3. Sunsets

2. Women

1. Breasts

UP YOUR MOON!

Photos have just arrived following the war on The Moon and he doesn't look amused...

The follow months will be filled with cresent moons, quarter moons, half moons and lots of this...

F-LOVE

Just saw him in the film, "Couples Retreat" with Jon Favreau, Vince Vaughn, Kristin Bell, Jason Bateman, Malin Akerman...
Show some love over at actor, Faizon Love's blogger...

LINKAGE

HOT AS FUCK (HAF)

Today's HAF is a Canadian gal from Montreal..She's an acedemic, apparently had been studying to teach French Literature before becoming huge (no pun intended) in modelling...Oh shante..

Bianca Beauchamp

Her WIKI LINKAGE.

OBAMA'S GROWING GREEN

Obama is really embracing this "going green concept"...

TODAY'S MONTH IS...

Woohoo! OCTOBER!
Welcome..

FOR THE HEARING IMPAIRED..

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ON THE TOPIC OF PEDOPHILES..

In regards to pedophiles, it seems they've caught a notorious one in Zurich recently.
Roman Polanski.

The story is in '77 he had sex with a 13 year old actress trying to make it in hollywood. Pled guilty to the charge but stated that he didn't know she was 13 at the time, apparently she "looked older".

I wont comment on "OMG HOW CAN YOU NOT TELL THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A 13 YEAR OLD KID AND AN 18 YEAR WOMAN?!?".

What I will comment on is the fact that some big name hollywood'ers are trying to get the charges dropped for what ever reason they've come up with. Some of these names are, Harvey Weinstein, who is quoted in saying, "We're calling on every filmmaker we can to help fix this terrible situation," and Monica Bellucci, who has started a petition for authorities to let Polanki off the hook.

Ok first of all, Mr. Weinstein, yes this is a "terrible situation". A 13 year old girl was taken advantage of by an older man, who had intercourse with her. Whether it was consentual or rape. She was 13 years old. IT'S AGAINST THE LAW and dare I say it? Good Moral Standing? Ok, well maybe not Disney's or MJ's but 95% of the world!

Second! Miss. Bellucci, were you taken advantage of this pedophile as well!? Also, see the first note to Mr. Weinstein. OH and putting together a petition for the release of a pedophile, signed by hundreds of other pedophiles is just doing us all a favour in getting these sick fuckers locked up. THANKS!

In the article that I had read on ASKMEN.com the alleged victim, Samantha Gailey, has said to drop the charges after suing Polanski, winning and getting a settlement. TRANSLATION: being paid off to forget being molested.

Well luckily that means shit. Guess what Polanski, you may be an honoured film maker, but I hope you rot in jail for the rest of your 20-25 years you have left on this earth.

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THERE'S A RACIST IN THE MAGIC KINGDOM!

Here's Cracked.com's Top 9 Racist Disney characters...

Does anyone remember when they were subliminally implementing porno and sexual messages in their films?

Not really surprised that Disney has created a "Magic Kingdom" for pedophiles and rapists where furry friends get to touch children all day.

Sounds kind of familiar...wasn't there an exclusive ranch called "Neverland", where a pedophile lived and he invited hundreds of unsuspecting children to play with him...literally?

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MY BOOM BOX BE ROLLIN'

Remember in the 80's when you would walk around with your boom box on your shoulder like LL COOL J?

Remember the pain that would accompany the coolness?
Here's a solution...

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HOT AS FUCK (HAF)

So I've decided to start posting Hot As Fuck women on here.
Why, you ask?
ITS MY GOD DAMN PARTY AND I'LL POST WHAT I WANNA!!

ANYWHO...
I'm not sure if it'll be a weekly thing, monthly, or just when ever I want to. Probably the latter of the 3..

So here's the first HAF photos!
DOUBLE WHAMMY!
Your Welcome.

Maggie Gyllenhaal

1 UP'D

BUDDHISTS GONE WILD

The headline that should have been used on this picture of Britney Spears;

"Britney: up to her old shinanigans again.."

That Guy..

Don't be "That Guy"...

Bringing Sexy Back III - JAMON IT

ME: I'm going to bring sexy back AGAIN for a 3rd time next year.

ME: Its gonna be OFF THE CHAIN!

Baltimore bitch: again?


ME: again

Baltimore bitch: need to learn how to keep it!

ME: Well if you love something, you need to let it go.

ME: I've been thinking it'll be MJ'd themed


ME: The title will be, "Bringing sexy back III - JAMON IT!"

ME: The theme photo will be me..of course, grabbing my crotch.

ME: and a close up of my crotch.

ME: The back side of my hand will have the title.

ME: due to size requirements the photo will have to be shot in widescreen 1080p FULL HD with panoramic lens.

Baltimore bitch: hahaha nice one

ME: Thats what she said.



(You really should have been there...it was so FRESH)

BLAHZAY

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YOUTUBE'D

Hey!
I got youtube'd.
Started up a channel.
Smells like 'new car'.
It's awesomely disappointing...
but so is life.
SO CHECK IT OUT AND SUBSCRIBE!

YOUTUBE'D

RIP HENRY GIBSON

A poem by Daniel. Rhyming dead roses & rude violets is hard due to the fact that the roses are not dead & the violets are quite pleasant.

RIP Henry Gibson

IT HAS BEEN CONFIRMED THAT OBAMA IS A NINJA

You know you've screwed up when the president of the United States of America calls you a 'jackass'.
I think the funniest part of this is when the guy talking to him confirms that Barack Obama is indeed a Ninja.
I KNEW IT!

GRENDEL WANTS A WHAT WHAT IN HIS BUTT

I'll trade you my Grendel for your Charmander.

ONE QUESTION PLEASE

There is only one thing this player was thinking at this specific moment in time...

"Did I remember to wear clean underwear today?"

  

DON'T SAY THE K-WORD

I will not blog about Kanye, I will not blog about Kanye, I will not blog about Kanye, I will not blog about Kanye, I will not blog about Kanye, I will not blog about Kanye, I will not blog about Kanye, I will not blog about Kanye, I will not blog about Kanye, I will not blog about Kanye, I will not blog about Kanye....

Hey Kanye, people are asking the same question you asked yourself  in "Heartless";

How could you be so heartless?

Oh well, I guess with all this hype that you've created for yourself and Taylor Swift, you'll be able to buy a brand new heart. Swift will be able to do absolutely anything in her career and STILL be that poor poor girl that had her dream come true moment destroyed at the VMAs by the terrible Kanye West.

Dammit I got sucked into this shit storm...

HEY, remember when Kanye walked with Jesus?

Bee vs. Ham & a Ferret

No bees or ferrets were harmed in the making of this video.

OH BABY BABY!

I saved this baby from impending doom.

They decided to name the baby after me, "Daniel Ball-Baggins II".

ROLLIN ROLLIN ROLLIN! what?

JUST HANGING OUT GUYS

Woman hunting for ghosts becomes one instead

Yeah thats right! A woman who had gone ghost hunting in an old building on the University of Toronto campus with a male companion. They entered the building and proceeded to make their way to the roof where the male had jumped from the roof to another roof of a nearby building. The woman had attempted the same jump but was unsuccessful and fell 3 stories to her death. Police had said that both individuals were drinking alcohol

You have to think what the hell was going through these people's head when they decided to Batman the roof tops. I can answer that! NOTHING.

I don't want to come off as playing down the seriousness of this incident. A life was lost after all. It IS sad, but come on? REALLY lady? Not even Batman could jump from roof top to roof top without the help of some really cool gadget on his utility belt. Did they think if they would think happy thoughts, they would fly?

No assholes. You can't fly, nor do you have a super cool utility belt like Batman. You have nothing because PEOPLE ARE NOT SUPPOSED TO JUMP FROM ROOF TOPS TO OTHER ROOF TOPS WITHOUT A NET OR SOME SORT OF DEVICE TO NOT FALL TO YOUR DEATH.
Also what adds to the story is that apparently the building is not even known to be haunted in the first place!
It all brings it to being all for not

I would like to elect these two people to receive the "douche bag of the day" award.
For the person who currently has the award. Could I please have it back to give it to someone else...what a douche bag.
Hopefully my reader base will grow by 1.5 people. Instead of zero.

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Now that's a Tight Socket

Halloween is next month and I figured I would look for
some pretty awesome costumes.
These made the grade...

Inquiring Minds MUST Know

GO-GO GADGET GAME FACE

I LOL'D AT FEMINISM

ASSurance

So this is my SECOND time writing this f*cking entry. Since I somehow deleted the original. I assure you it was great. I had a summation of my 'some-what-staycation'. Basically talked about how I had gone to the beach, got some great vids, pics, some colour in my pasty, colourless skin. I missed the internet, but could have gone to some places by the beach that did have free internet..

I assure you it was great. Really, you had to be there. I was, for a short while.

Oh & at the end of the entry I said some stuff about how I'm not really glad to be back but glad to be back or something. It was clever, I assure you. Really.

Consider yourself assured.

F*ck this entry.

I wanted to post this damn pic of a product I saw at some Canadian cop-out of Walmart.
Anyways, heres this stupid ass picture.

F*ck this pic too.

Drunk Guy goes to town

This will be my "Drunk Guy" - Follow me on Twitter to find out what its ALLLL aboot.

It's not about a aboot, but aboot a drunk guy, who happens to be drunk while doing such things as operating a ferris wheel or appearing on the Price is Right (post Bob Barker).

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WOK THAT DOG!

Ok, so this guy, Mel Glickman starts putting up these fake menus, "100 ways to wok a dog" as a supposed "joke" about "WOKING" your dog in High Park (Toronto). Subsequently upsetting sensitive pet owners.

First of all, I myself am a pet owner of a dog. I have no intentions on eating him or any other species of kanine...right now.

As for the alleged as the Glickman joke, I think it probably WAS indeed made in bad taste but really is it THAT bad to stand back and laugh at "WOKING your dog"? Followed by taking down of the flyers of course.

Although, if you think about it, aren't there REAL "Dog Liver Cafes" in some countries? I mean some of these people are really "WOKING" their dogs (I wonder how many times I can use WOKING in here). Not to point any fingers or anything *COUGH COUGH(ASIA)*.

I think people need to lighten the hell up and stop with the belly aching about some idiot posting some stupid literature on a bunch of lamp posts, just because your little FE-FE's sweater vest gets ruffled from a few words, placed in a sentence, to form a bad joke.

OH and to the owner of FE-FE...CLEAN UP YOUR FUCKING DOG'S SHIT YOU LAZY BASTARD.


(No dogs were harmed in the making of this nonsense..although some Asians were offended)

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Mixed bowl

Yeah, I did it. Mixed my cereal, I'm a cereal mixer. Sue me.

Kellogg's & Quaker get along great. Quaker just doesn't like being on the bottom.

VS

...I think it'll be a draw..in my stomach.

twitted

Check "danistalking" on twitter.
Also, added a direct link on the side bar.
I'm a twit now.

LOLZ

Gross.....LOLZ